LETTER TO SUE*

20th of May 2007 Tallinn

Dear Sue,


Interesting, but I too felt a great sadness today. It started at about 8 o'clock in the evening and did not leave. We were still in the country house with Mother when the sadness started. She spoke and I was silent. Silent and sad. We were at the sea. I wrote my dreams in Japanese on the beach.

My phone died a day ago. "Well, why did you think it happened?", Mother asked. "To tell me that it is time to go", I replied. All the time that I had to myself, I was looking at the map. I just could not get enough of it.

I am receiving very vivid "on the road" dreams. My today's Russian theme song says: "I step out and bow to my house. I pray to God in silence. I go out looking for the place, where my love is." It also says "I would go around the world three times to find it".

On Thursday I went to the camping shop "Matkasport".
I was a lonely visitor, so the shopkeeper soon approached me with a question:
"How may I be of help"
"I guess, I have everything" I replied with a sigh,
"I just want to be here among the traveling things..." I continued in a thought, but realising how out of place this would sound, I let him show me some wallets. I then even purchased a belt with a built-in secret pocket and a Ferrino money-bag.
Now, as a customer, I felt no shame just being in the store with all the travelling things, which was my primary urge after all.

Since then, 17th of May, to be precise, it started...my big travelling fever. There is over a month to go, but it is already here! How do I cope with it all this time!
I read Brandon's journal. It gives me a lot. I live a journey through his tale. And he has been posting quite often now. He is traveling Pakistan at the moment(http://madiiax.livejournal.com/). And I work. And I communicate to my family, my colleagues and some other people. And I do some other things...like sleep and eat. And in between I suffer from the fever.

_______________________________________

*We were sitting in our favourite cafeteria Kohvicum in Tallinn old town. It was late August 2006, I had just arrived from Japan. "Next time I will not return", I said, "I want to hitchhike around the world". Somehow Sue wanted to do the same thing. And unlike me it hadn't taken her seven years to realise it. From then on the dreaming was done together.