HOW (NOT) TO COOK BEANS

These are five out of seven patients who live at our house. From left to right: Don Edwin, Juan Carlos (a volunteer from Guatemala), Don Candido, Don Erlan, Don Tomas and Don Pancho.

Bugs invaded the beans. On Thursday I put them in the sun and forgot to take them back in. It rained at night. The beans got wet. I was putting them into the oven to dry when Don Pancho entered the kitchen.

-What are you doing?
-I want to dry these a little, they got wet in the rain.
-Let us better toast them.
-Why?
-To make a drink.
-A drink?
-Of course!
-Well, as long as you help me…I guess I will find out something new about Bolivia again.

Don Pancho toasted the beans for three hours in the oven every now and then stirring them with care.
I watched and then left the house for the weekend.
On Tuesday I remembered them and picked up the topic again:

-Don Pancho, what shall we do with these?
-Peal them.
-Peal them?
-Yes, peal them.

I tried.

-But the skin does not come off!
-Soak them.
-Soak them?!

I soaked them overnight.

On Wednesday morning:

-The peal does not come off, don Pancho!
-Dry them.
-Again?!

I put the beans in the sun.
They were not too dry when I gave them to Don Erlan:

-Could you help me peal these, please?
-Are these peanuts?
-No, these are beans.
-Why do you want me to peal the beans?
-Don Pancho wants to make a drink out of them.
-A drink out of beans?! I have never heard of that.
-Really?! I thought it was a Bolivian drink…

Don Erlan refused to peal the beans.
It was Thursday. The beans were still drying in the sun.

-Don Pancho!
-Yes?
-Come here please.
-Yes?
-Look! Do you know that these are not peanuts?
-Of course these are peanuts!
-No, these are beans! Try one if you do not believe me!
-Yes, these are beans.
-What should I do with them now?
-Cook them.

So this is how I cooked the beans which after a week long torture still tasted like regular beans and were served with rice.