All four seasons - an unexpected present of the fourth year on the road, even though fall got its place mixed up in between spring and summer - always something new to experiment!
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| September 2011, Spring in Chascomus Argentina |
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| October 2011, Autumn in Türisalu, Estonia |
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| January 2012, Summer in Colon, Uruguay |
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| July 2012, Winter in Punta Arenas, Chile |
It was good to see Estonia and my family again; important to get a new passport; but also wonderful to be back in Argentina renewing my stay every three months in Uruguay or Chile, eventually feeling more at home in Chascomus than anywhere else. And those were also my two most important good-byes - to my parents and my brother on the 20th of October, 2011 and to Tiiu in Chascomus on the 8th of May, 2012.
Yet it was also good to be on the road again even if only for seven days traveling from Chascomus to Punta Arenas; very very special to find a home here in that Southern most town of Chile, to become a part of a family who a couple of weeks ago took me all the way to Argentina reassuring that I could continue for at least another ninety days with them. Today, on August 15h it is three months since I arrived here for lunch. I still remember that lunch and my pack by the doorstep. How many lunches has it been now?
The choir had to preform today. I was nearly too late and we are just four people. Hitchhiked and got a ride to church. Kind lad, Cristobal, he was not even going in that direction. Tomorrow at two I´m teaching art to youth with special needs. Last time we were three teachers to four students, and I felt we lacked another tutor. I give piano and English classes to a nine year old Macarena, we go ice-skating together a few times a week. There is choir practice on friday, we sing on Sundays.
When I recited my daily life to my family over Skype, they laughed. Those who know me would probably smile too - it all sounds just too familiar. Yet I am shy to speak, even more shy to write of significant changes - of an unknown side I myself am still discovering. The form and the main task of that "new me" is to be a helper of a crystal-merchant. It is another piece in the puzzle - where to place it? Once I read a book about a boy who travelled to Africa. He dreamed of finding the Pyramids and at one point in his journey became a helper of a crystal salesman. Eventually he got a ride with a caravan across Sahara. That book, Paulo Couelho´s "Alchemist", I perhaps ought to re-read, to get some clues to the mystery.
"So what do you do to find your ride?" A woman asked me today.
"Nothing, I wait, I let it come to me", I replied. Did she understand?
Spanish word for "Hope" - "Esperanza" shares the root with "Esperar", in English "Wait". Indeed, despite the passiveness of the activity, all waiting is based on hope, which is not a little thing.
"When someone seeks," said Siddhartha, "then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal." (Herman Hesse)
It hard not to seek, because one would think that is what needs to be done to find. Reason says so, heart agrees with Hesse. I look at the Magellan strait and do not think of a boat. I am happy to be where I am.
When I recited my daily life to my family over Skype, they laughed. Those who know me would probably smile too - it all sounds just too familiar. Yet I am shy to speak, even more shy to write of significant changes - of an unknown side I myself am still discovering. The form and the main task of that "new me" is to be a helper of a crystal-merchant. It is another piece in the puzzle - where to place it? Once I read a book about a boy who travelled to Africa. He dreamed of finding the Pyramids and at one point in his journey became a helper of a crystal salesman. Eventually he got a ride with a caravan across Sahara. That book, Paulo Couelho´s "Alchemist", I perhaps ought to re-read, to get some clues to the mystery.
"So what do you do to find your ride?" A woman asked me today.
"Nothing, I wait, I let it come to me", I replied. Did she understand?
Spanish word for "Hope" - "Esperanza" shares the root with "Esperar", in English "Wait". Indeed, despite the passiveness of the activity, all waiting is based on hope, which is not a little thing.
"When someone seeks," said Siddhartha, "then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal." (Herman Hesse)
It hard not to seek, because one would think that is what needs to be done to find. Reason says so, heart agrees with Hesse. I look at the Magellan strait and do not think of a boat. I am happy to be where I am.
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