This post is a letter to my Father translated from Russian language and is meant for all those who sometimes have strange, at the same time fabulous ideas, but doubt if their seemingly mad wishes could ever come true. I had less than a month to train, my aim was to run half a marathon - 21 kilometers.
The run was always there -
in the idea of it
that half a marathon began
before I decided to put on the running shoes
26.08.2012. Punta Arenas, Chile
Dear Father
I'm starting to write my third diary to you which this time instead of a certain number of pages will have a deadline - September 23rd, when a Marathon of Torres del Paine will be held.
I heard about it two days ago on the news and today woke up with a wish to run. There are three distances - 42, 21 and 10 kilometres. It is 26th of August - the last time I ran was with you, it has been almost a year now. Do you think it is at all possible that I could train myself in such a short period? I'm not thinking about the 42 kilometres, but 10 or 21, not sure yet. I have to make a decision in four days to be able to register before August 31st.
A wise woman from Mexico once gave me a book to read. It was called "The Wish Book" by Pierre Franckh. The author suggested that to make a wish come true one ought to write it down on a piece of paper, then describe all what he or she is willing to do for it and the outcomes which would show that the dream had become reality.
My wish is to run the distance of half a marathon. I need to be in a good physical shape to do it, and to achieve that I would have to discipline myself to run every day, each week making the distance longer.
To take into concideration that recently I've been going to sleep at 4am and waking up at 10, have not exercised for a while, then my aim and the way to it would be a complete inner revolution, which today is nothing more than an empty word.
"Which religion do you belong to?" I am often asked.
"In the Soviet Union religion was considered opium of the people as a popular quote from Marx states. My family does not practice any religion," I answer.
"What do you believe in?"
"My religion is my daily life and my body the temple", I reply using the words of Kahlil Gibran.
So today I believe that tomorrow I can wake up at 7 am and run, just like I did on the day of my 30th birthday with you.
It is Sunday. I went out for a walk and chose a route for the first three days. Perhaps it is too little, but to begin with I believe it is enough. There is a nice road by the sea which I could use to make the distance longer next week. The change in my sleeping schedule would have to take place already today. Tomorrow I will find out what time the sun rises. Thank you for the company (you do not even know you gave me), for your support and for the lound inner "Yes" which I'm hearing right now.
29.08.2012, 9.30 am
This is the third day. I ran 4,5 kilometers in 45 minutes.
My feet hurt less than yesterday. The stairs are still difficult (means: I walk). My favourite track is by the sea. I feel I can start running more. I'm surprised not having that much trouble waking up - the sun rises at 7, so no running in the dark.
The Marathon is going to take place in the Torres del Paine National Park , I've no idea how to get there yet, do not have to decide that tomorrow. What is more important now is which distance to choose - 10 or 21 kilometres. In my soul believe I could go for 21, my body is arguing, my mind is indecisive.
02.09.2012 Sunday, Seventh day of running
That same day after writing I signed up for 21 kilometers.
We were going to the fair today, so I decided to run the first 4,5 km circle. It felt easy and I could even go up the stairs jogging - my time was 10 minutes better than before.
They changed to summer time in Chile today and I had to wake up an hour earlier, but it was not hard. Running gives me energy for the whole day. I've also noticed a positive change in my mood.
I received an email with a map of the route. Have to say I'm a bit troubled by this diagram:
I'm doing pretty bad on the rises. I did start to run a different route yesterday, but most of the circle is still on the flat ground. My new aim is to train twice a day - in the mornings for the distance and in the evenings for the rises. I don't think that I could manage with the schedule, though - on Mondays I go skating and have a choir practise, on Thursdays and Fridays there is choir as well. I think I should get my running done in the morning, our house is on the hill after all - I could run an extra circle.
09.09.2012
It is Sunday again. I'm all wet due to strong wind and rain outside. When the weather got bad for the first time, I stayed at home. The storm was a good excuse not to run, but was unsatisfied with myself later. The wind and the rain did not stop for the whole week and that first day left aside, I woke up and ran just as usual. My "great plan" of evening runs did not work as predicted, so I changed the route considering the wish and will to get some character into the landscape. The rises feel now much easier and the distance has grown to 11 kilometers.
15.09.2012, Saturday
Congratulations with the birth of your son and thank you for a younger brother, for 28 years of friendship with this very special person, for choosing out of all the women in the world our mother and for despite the difficult journey still staying together, giving us an opportunity to grow up with both parents - our source of life and inspiration. So many times in life we wake up too late to realize it. Maybe because we stand too close to see...
From Wednesday I started running in the mountains. The weather was great - no wind, sunrise. After the storms it was so easy to run even uphill. I did not want to turn back, so I just kept running till came to a beautiful lake called Laguna Lynch. The road around it called me and I followed. Suddenly I realized how late it could have been and half way around the lake, turned back. I did not feel tired at all, ran altogether 14,5 kilometers for 3 hours and 30 minutes. I'd like to make the whole round though.Today it was raining again when I went into the mountain. Strange how from inside rain always looks so unpleasant, but when running I hardly even notice it. A car passes me and pulls over . "Come, we'll give you a ride," says the driver. Why not! I'm given a sandwich and a kilometer later dropped off on a crossroad. I run and eat, hearing the water in my socks, I don't mind and continue towards the road to the lake Lynch. It is muddy and I do not feel like running to the lake, neither do I feel like returning. I continue uphill, feeling to have found my rythm and breath. I run without suffering to the top and then turn back. A car passes me and stops. I think it is hard to understand how can running in the rain can actually be pleasureful. The car brings me to town and that was the whole run.
22.09.2012, 00:30 am
The backpack is ready, my alarm clock is set for 6:30. What will the day bring? The fears of not making it, to come last, to find myself with too many people and loose my breath and my rythm, to overdo it etc., I think have calmed for now. I trained every morning, except counting that first rainy day, made the circle around the lake, ran till the National Reserve, to the end of the longest road - uphill and then down, nearly 3,5 hours altogether - this helped me believe in myself. Tomorrow I will find out what is it like to run half a marathon. Would I then have 42 kilometers set as the next impossible dream?
23.09.2012, Sunday, 6 am
Sitting in a bus and ready. Pause. I doubt? We have a different bus for each distance. There are more men here than women, but it is too early to tell - the bus is still half empty. I hitchhiked yesterday to Puerto Natales, over 200 kilometers, from here it is 150 more to the park. I waited for this day, prepared for it - what will it be like?
Evening of the same day.
I have already returned to Puerto Natales and am sitting on a comfortable sofa in a cozy hostel. The incredible day is behind. I ran without pause all 21 kilometers. Strong wind blew most of the time in our favour, but last 6 kilometres I ran against the wind. That was the hardest part of the run, probably also because I had never run more than 16 kilometers. After 10 I felt very good, completely in my element - the beauty of nature, the feeling of being part of it overwhelmed me, I ran alone and did not have to compare myself with anybody. I'm so tired now, off to bed.
24.09.2012
Drinking tea in the Erratic Rock hostel, Puerto Natales. Feet hurt a bit, especially on the stairs. Yesterday I met so many interesting people who are passionate for running. Daniel was my first acquaintance in the group of ultra-marathon runners I met. He had run the most difficult foot-race in Europe - The Mont Blanc Run of 166 kilometers across France, Switzerland and Italy.
"How long did it take you?" I asked.
"35 hours"
"When did you sleep?"
"When started seeing strange visions, I set my alarm clock to wake me up in 15 minutes and slept that bit resting my head on the backpack," he answered.
I was impressed by a blind man probably aged between 50-60 who ran half a marathon distance, met him a few times on the track. He was accompanied by another man, their hands tied together by a rubber band. I heard how the guide would say "downhill" or "a person to your right, take care."
Daniel told me that on the Atakama Desert 250 -kilometer footrace there was a blind man from Japan accompanied by his son.
I also remembered the story of Canadian Terry Fox who with cancer and one leg having amputated ran for 143 days 5473 kilometers.
Daniel introduced me to Matias Anguita who celebrated his 40th birthday by running 40 marathons in 40 days for the cause of Reforesting Patagonia. He used three different routes of 22, 10 and another 10 kilometers for anyone willing be able to join him. On the last day he ran together with 230 people.
After these stories and encounters, my 21 kilometers felt such a minor achievement, yet thanks to which I found myself sharing a meal with super-men and women. I saw their greatness and understood that to personal growth there is no limit.
I go for my third cup of tea now. In this hostel I am thanks to another lucky coincidence and can do work exchange for a place to stay. My kind host has been sick and said I could just rest for a day. I'l invent something though, give a few more coats of varnish to the cupboards we did the day before yesterday. It is hard for me not to do anything if I stay here. And I do want to stay and reflect a bit upon where I was a month ago and where I am now. Where from here?
I was introduced to a new world of physical, mental and spiritual aims. To turn back and return to the same me on the first page of that letter would be impossible. At the same time it would be so easy to stop training and make this experience into a legend, another story from life. I realize that in my body, my mind and spirit there is a lot of power which when concentrated on one single aim can reach whatever destination. And yet simultaneously there exists only one moment where this becomes possible - doors open, ideas appear from somewhere, material equipment is given and in the end I only have to make one step, get that chain with the anchor out and trust my sailboat to the sea directing the sail to the favorable wind. And so "appeared" proper clothes and running shoes, money to register, support of the host family, this great hostel that allowed me to stay for free.
I feel this letter is coming to its end. In one interview I said: "My Father ran marathons, but this does not mean anything."
Well it is understandable, each one has to train for his own run. Still without your example, I would perhaps never had gotten the idea and the wish to know what a long distance run felt like. Thank you! Herein I send you my medal and my running number. We are of the same blood.
Carina
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